Winter Olympics

Young, virile athletes; old, decrepit commentators. Are there no commentators under 70 years old available to NBC?

Future Leader?

The Naval Academy is where the future officers of the Navy and Marine Corps are formed into leaders. The Navy and the Naval Academy have a “zero drug tolerance police,” which means any service member who is guilty of drug use will be administratively processed for separation. Every day, sailors that come back positive for illegal drugs on random urinalysis tests are processed for discharge.

Naval Academy, Midshipman 3rd Class Marcus Curry, who already had three honor code violations, was on academic probation, and was near the bottom of his class, tested positive for marijuana on a random urinalysis. He was separated from the academy, as others have been, right? No! Not right. You see, Marcus is black and is a star slot back on the academy football team, so he was given another chance.

Now, some future sailors will get a stupid, drug using, division officer to lead them into war.

More Gore-ble Warming

Global warming experts, such as Gore, have predicted that the world as we know it will end in few years. Each spring for the last few years they have predicted increased and violent hurricane activity; when in fact, hurricane activity has decreased. This winter has been extremely cold worldwide. Now the global warmers say this is a only a pause in global warming that will return in a few decades.

Have nations done something in last few months to decrease their CO2 emissions and cause this phase, or is this just a part of the earths weather cycle (just like the warming) that man has no control over. Once again doomsday believers have failed in their predictions. Gore will probably now concentrate his efforts on the end of the world coming in December 2012.

Pee Wee

Pee Wee Herman is back in the limelight again; lets give him a hand.

Digital Music

They lied. They said digital music was better than records: no hiss, no scratches, easier to use, etc. However, they forgot to tell us a major flaw—digital music sounds like crap. There are no subtle undertones and sounds end abruptly instead of trailing off (instead of banggggg, we get bang). Instead of caressing your ears, it assaults them. Maybe some day they will find an electronic medium that can store digital music that has been created with a high enough sample rate that it can compete with the sound we get from records. Until then, we have to just grit our teeth and  remember how it used to be.

Draft

Women demand to be in military academies, in the military, on ships, in submarines, etc. Why don't they demand  to be registered for the draft as are men?

Uh!

Man who had done nothing for peace in his life, had been president of his country for one month, and who was leading his country in two wars wins Noble Prize for Peace.