Medical Terms Explained

• Artery: the study of paintings
• Bacteria: back door to cafeteria
• Barium: what doctors do when patients die
• Benign: what you be after you be eight
• Cesarean section: a neighborhood in Rome
• CAT scan: searching for kitty
• Cauterize: make eye contact with her
• Colic: a sheepdog
• Coma: a punctuation mark
• D&C: where Washington is
• Dilate: to live long
• Enema: not a friend
• Fester: quicker than someone else
• Fibula: a small lie
• Genital: a non-Jewish person
• G.I. series: World Series of military baseball
• Hangnail: what you hang your coat on
• Impotent: distinguished, well-known
• Labor pain: getting hurt at work
• Medical staff: a doctor's cane
• Morbid: a higher offer than I bid
• Nitrates: cheaper than day rates
• Node: I knew it
• Outpatient: a person who has fainted
• Pap smear: a fatherhood test
• Pelvis: second cousin to Elvis
• Postoperative: a letter carrier
• Recovery room: a place to do upholstery
• Rectum: nearly killed him
• Secretion: hiding something
• Seizure: a Roman emperor
• Tablet: a small table
• Terminal illness: getting sick at the airport
• Tumor: one more than one more
• Urine: the opposite of you're out
• Varicose: close by