Great Words of Wisdom

If Republicans want to get along with Democrats, they should listen to the words of the great American President Barack Obama who was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2009 for his "extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples." Follow his words of wisdom, after all, he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 

Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee fundraiser - May 6, 2010

"After they (Republicans)  drove the car into the ditch, made it as difficult as possible for us to pull it back, now they want the keys back. No! You can't drive. We don't want to have to go back into the ditch. We just got the car out."

Moving Forward Campaign - October 22, 2010

“Finally we got this car up on level ground. And, yes, it's a little beat up. It needs to go to the body shop. It's got some dents; it needs a tune-up. But it's pointing in the right direction. And now we've got the Republicans (Democrats) tapping us on the shoulder, saying, we want the keys back.

You can't have the keys back. You don't know how to drive. You can ride with us if you want, but you got to sit in the backseat. We're going to put middle-class America in the front seat. We're looking out for them.”

Medical Terms Explained

• Artery: the study of paintings
• Bacteria: back door to cafeteria
• Barium: what doctors do when patients die
• Benign: what you be after you be eight
• Cesarean section: a neighborhood in Rome
• CAT scan: searching for kitty
• Cauterize: make eye contact with her
• Colic: a sheepdog
• Coma: a punctuation mark
• D&C: where Washington is
• Dilate: to live long
• Enema: not a friend
• Fester: quicker than someone else
• Fibula: a small lie
• Genital: a non-Jewish person
• G.I. series: World Series of military baseball
• Hangnail: what you hang your coat on
• Impotent: distinguished, well-known
• Labor pain: getting hurt at work
• Medical staff: a doctor's cane
• Morbid: a higher offer than I bid
• Nitrates: cheaper than day rates
• Node: I knew it
• Outpatient: a person who has fainted
• Pap smear: a fatherhood test
• Pelvis: second cousin to Elvis
• Postoperative: a letter carrier
• Recovery room: a place to do upholstery
• Rectum: nearly killed him
• Secretion: hiding something
• Seizure: a Roman emperor
• Tablet: a small table
• Terminal illness: getting sick at the airport
• Tumor: one more than one more
• Urine: the opposite of you're out
• Varicose: close by

Call Me Master

For those who think that people get to choose what names, titles, or pronouns other people must use when referring to them; I am declaring my choices.

I am a retired Navy master chief petty officer. In the Navy, for everyday usage in a work center, the master chief is often referred to as “master.” For example, “Has anyone seen the master this morning.” Ex-military personnel, especially retired personnel, are often referred to by their military rank. Therefore, all you “woke” people may now refer to me as “master.”